How to Write Your Vows: Start with These Easy Questions from Utah Valley Bride

Happy Magazine Monday? Read our editorial on how to write your vows. It’s easier than you think! Just start with these questions, fill in the blanks, and don’t forget to bring tissues!

I Take Thee

Writing your vows can feel like a very daunting task. Whether you’ve been working on them for months or you’re waiting until the morning of your wedding day, you want them to be meaningful and sweet as you convey your love to the person you are promising to spend the rest of your life with.

So what are they? Your vows are a way to make promises to your spouse, not only that you will love and care for each other for the rest of your lives together, but also other meaningful promises unique to your relationship. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live.

If you’re okay with repeating traditional vows and don’t like the idea of doing public vows in front of all your guests, it’s very easy to find different versions online of beautiful vows to say to each other at the altar. But if you’d like it to be more personal, even a little bit, it’s much easier than you think to write beautiful and memorable vows for your partner.

UVB Tip from the Editor: If your officiant is someone who has performed marriage ceremonies before, ask what they already have as their script for couples to repeat vows. You may like what they have!

To Have and To Hold

The easiest and best place to start will be to pretend you are writing a love letter to your fiancé. Boom, there are your vows. At the end of it, include some promises you will make about your future together, and of course, end it with how much you love them. It’s that easy!

First and foremost, what matters is being authentic and speaking from your heart. You don’t need to be a best-selling writer to create vows your partner will love and appreciate.

You don’t need to write a full-length novel, either; shoot for two to three minutes, or about 300 words, give or take.

From This Day Forward

But if you’re looking for even more inspiration, there’s nothing wrong with a little outsourcing. Try to think of any memorable wedding vows you’ve heard before, from other weddings you’ve been to, or even from movies or books. What do you like about those vows? How can you include aspects of those vows in your own?

Start by making a few lists:

List five things you love about your fiancé
List three things you most look forward to in your marriage
List three to five things you will promise to do for the rest of your life
List some memorable moments from your relationship together

Then, answer these questions and fill in the rest of the sentences:

What does marriage mean to you?

How have you grown together over your relationship?

“The moment I realized you were the one was…”

“I knew I was going to marry you when…”

“The first time I knew I was in love with you was…”

“You make me feel…”

“Thank you for…”

Then comes the part where you put it all together! Using things from your lists and fill-in-the-blanks above, create a sweet love letter to your spouse! You can use any and all of it and more, but you will be the one who knows best what’s important to include. Tie in anything that’s personal to you and your fiancé. End it with your promises to them and your commitment to loving them forever!

I Do

How or where you write your vows is completely dependent on you. We love a good vow book set, but there’s nothing wrong with writing on a sheet of lined paper. You could even type it out and print it beforehand if you think that’s easier. But most of all, don’t just rely on your phone to read from; who knows if you’ll even be able to find it on your wedding day (and it’s not the cutest in photos), but more importantly, you’re going to want a physical keepsake of such a sentimental moment.

Whatever it ends up being, it needs to be easy to access, and you’ll have to be able to read it through tears in your eyes. And don’t forget to practice, practice, practice!

Happy writing!

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